Diana & Matt; a Love Story that Deserves a Happily Ever After
- Dances With Goatz
- Sep 14, 2020
- 6 min read
by Dianna Roa
I had recently written the story of my brother and how his disabilities have helped shape who I am as an individual and activist. In that story I spoke briefly about my friends Matt and Diana and asked if they would be interested in reading it, which of course, they were. The very same day, Diana asked me if I could share her and Matt’s story as well. I was honored. I immediately began to sketch out how to share this beautiful couples love story. Love stories such as Matt and Diana’s typically conclude with a ceremony, a reception, smiling faces of friends and families, wishing the newly married couple well. But in Matt and Diana’s story, this was not the case. Because of laws, restrictions, and regulations, Matt and Diana will not be able to experience this. Thank you for taking the time to read their story and how you can help them achieve their happily ever after.
When Diana was young, like many girls, she dreamed of meeting her one true love and getting married. At 27 years old, she had her Disney princess moment on one incredibly special and unforgettable night. She was not looking for love, but it found her that night. The social club Diana belonged to was holding a Valentine’s Day Dance for its members. Diana was extremely excited about the party. She put on her favorite dress and dance shoes. Dancing is one of Diana’s favorite activities and she was looking forward to swaying the night away on the dance floor. When she arrived at the party her eyes were drawn to a handsome gentleman named Matt. Diana knew she wanted to dance with and get to know Matt. And Matt noticed the beautiful girl dancing the night away, as well. So Diana decided to approach Matt and ask him to dance. They ended up spending the whole evening talking and dancing. While on the dance floor Matt held Diana and gave her a kiss, and he found the courage to ask her to be his girlfriend. She said yes and they have been together since. They never wanted to be apart. They are still dancing today, eleven years after that Valentine’s Day Dance.
I met Diana and Matt ten years after they first met and fell in love, when they visited the studio where I was an instructor. They wanted to take latin & ballroom dance lessons together. I had recently started teaching dance for a non-profit called Global Dance Art, where Diana currently sits on the board, and she and Matt are both representatives of the organization. I quickly saw the caring nature of both Matt and Diana and knew we were going to be the best of friends. Diana is talkative and open about how she is feeling whether it is good or bad. By the end of our lessons she always has a radiant smile that is full of happiness and joy. Matt is thoughtful and caring. He always looks out for others and is extremely sympathetic. After my father had a stroke last year Matt would ask at each lesson how my father was feeling. He will still ask me a year later. They are both unique and lovely individuals that I am so happy to have in my life.
Their love for one another is visible and clear during their lessons and I have never met a more affectionate couple. They are always encouraging and supporting each other whenever a misstep or mistake is made. They kiss and hug at the beginning and end of every run through of their routine; staring into each other's eyes and saying “I love you” no matter who is around or where they are. I've never met another couple so in love, especially after being together for as long as they have. I hope to be as affectionate as them in my own marriage. They are truly a picture-perfect example of true love.
After only a few months of teaching Diana and Matt, they had shared with me that they wanted to get married. I was excited for them and hoped I would receive an invitation to the big day. But then they had shared with me that they could not. As someone who supports the right to get married for everyone, regardless of how you identify, sexual preference or ability, I was astounded. I asked them to explain to me why they could not get married and I was truly shocked by their response.
Diana and Matt are a differently-abled couple. They both have intellectual and developmental disabilities, so they depend on the SSI program for disability benefits. The Supplemental Security Income (SSI) program pays benefits to disabled adults who have limited income and resources. Though they both have jobs they need these benefits to fill in the gaps. These benefits help pay for their individual apartments, transportation, and other basic needs. This allows them to still be independent and have access to the help they need. This SSI program does offer a lot of benefits to Diana and Matt, but it also stops them from achieving their dream, to be husband and wife. If they were to get married, they both would receive 25% less benefits. Benefits they rely on so dearly.
This reality for Matt and Diana is in stark contrast of when my husband and I got married. We received many benefits like tax breaks, my husband being able to get his green card, and I have the option to be on my husband’s health insurance at his new job. Yet, this couple that is so clearly in love with each other for over a decade will lose so much if they were to get married. To me this is obvious discrimination. Diana and Matt should not have to sacrifice for their love to be recognized by the state. They already sacrifice so much and must fight ableism every day of their lives. They, like everyone else, should have the right to get married and build a family.
"Everyone with special needs is entitled to a healthy fulfilling life. Our disability does not define us - it’s part of us. " Said Diana Stolfio "We are like everybody else who has needs. Everyone has dreams of what they want in the future: like get engaged, get married or have children. What I propose is to eliminate the barriers and make marriage accessible for all."
Diana is a Disability Rights Activist who often goes to events and speaks publicly on many topics. One being the Marriage Access for People with Special Abilities Act (MAPSA Act). This Act clarifies that SSI benefits for an individual with an intellectual or developmental disability (ID/DD) will not be affected by marital status. It will make it so when determining SSI benefits for individuals with ID/DD like Diana and Matt, only their income and resources will be reviewed. It will not include income and resources of their spouse.
This act could change everything for Diana and Matt and so many others. If this act is passed, they will be able to get married and make their longtime dream a reality. Should the MAPSA Act pass, it would give them the same civil right that we all deserve; the right to marry whomever one loves and the freedom to build a life together. MAPSA will not put individuals in a position where they would have to choose between marriage or keeping their disability benefits. Forcing people to make such a choice is unethical and rather cruel. Love is Love regardless of race, color, sexual preference, or ability. You have the power to help this couple live happily ever after. I thank you for reading about my friends Matt and Diana and ask you to take five minutes to help them achieve their dream by supporting the MAPSA Act.
First, please sign this petition by Diana Stolfio herself to show support for her and Matt's right to marriage:
Secondly use this easy form to email your US Representative and ask them to support the Marriage Access for People with Special Abilities Act (H.R. 1529):
If you'd like to read the story about my brother that inspired this story click the bellow link:
Diana & Matt's Last Performance(Pre-Covid19):
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